Homer vs. Cosmo
Homer vs. Cosmo is a what-if Death Battle by Joshuafoote14. Interlude Wizard: This is Wizard and Boomstick. This time we're making two buffoons fight each other to the death. Boomstick: There's nothing more entertaining to watch than that! Wizard: So...who are the buffoons? Boomstick: Homer Simpson and Cosmo Cosma. Wizard: Oh...so, we're making two cartoon characters fight each other to the death. Boomstick: Yes...you probably already know whose going to win but we're making this Death Battle anyway! Wizard: Let's start the Death Battle. Homer Simpson Wizard: Homer Simpson is one of the most famous cartoon characters of all time...maybe not as famous as Bugs Bunny, but he's still famous nonetheless. He just so happens to have yellow skin...maybe that's because he's a coward. Boomstick: I want to watch some Looney Tunes now! Wizard: Homer Simpson is known for his big appetite. He loves eating donuts. Boomstick: He's also a slacker! He's always slacking off at work. Wizard: Yes...though to be fair, Mr. Burns is an evil person. You probably wouldn't want to work for him in the first place. Boomstick: Unless you're Smithers. He just loves his boss! It's kind of creepy now that I think of it. Wizard: Homer Simpson is rather strong, believe it or not. He once had a spaceship fall on top of him and he survived. He also put up a decent fight against Peter Griffin, even though Peter Griffin was no stranger for a rumble after all his fights with Ernie the Giant Chicken. Boomstick: He also has a habit of strangling his own son, so he's rather strong! Wizard: Though Homer Simpson's foolishness did get Springfield in that horrible situation in the first place, he was able to launch a bomb outside of a glass dome imprisoning the Springfield citizens, shattering it and rescuing Springfield from its total destruction. Boomstick: He's also strong enough to lift a motorbike above his head, though Homer's strength DOES vary throughout the series. They always seem to use different writers per episode. Wizard: Maybe that's why the Simpsons is undergoing seasonal rot. Boomstick: Hey, not all of the recent Simpsons episodes are bad! Wizard: True. Believe it or not, Homer Simpson is also rather durable, as we noted when he survived having a spaceship fall on top of him. He's also survived falling off a gorge twice, once while he was already badly injured due to the medivackers being careless with him as they were rescuing him after he fell off Springfield Gorge in the first place. He also once survived having every bone broken in his body. Boomstick: Surprisingly, even though he is an idiot, he can play instruments surprisingly well, such as the guitar for instance! Wizard: However, Homer Simpson is also prone to misfortune. In fact, that's why Marge wanted to give Homer life insurance. Boomstick: He's also not very bright, and he lets his anger get the better of him! Wizard: Onto Cosmo. Cosmo Wizard: Cosmo Cosma is a fairy who is happily married to Wanda...however, before he met her, he had a habit of causing destruction. Boomstick: Back when he was younger, he did all sorts of terrible things...though this was due to idiocy more than malice. Wizard: As soon as he got a magical rattle, he not only transformed Jorgen Von Strangle into a bomb, he transformed him into a bomb powerful enough to blow up Fairyworld! Boomstick: He also made his father disappear entirely by transforming him into a fly! He's on his way to becoming a self-made orphan! Wizard: Cosmo is pretty much the worst thing to happen to Fairyworld in the history of ever. He once created a destructive hydra by the name of Snowball, and he sank Atlantis a whopping nine times. Boomstick: Unsurprisingly, Jorgen Von Strangle decided that there shouldn't be any more fairy babies born after that! He passed a law that prohibited fairy babies from being born! Wizard: Well, that's unfortunate. How would they load their baby cannons? Boomstick: You won't have to worry about that. Jorgen never officially added the rule to that rulebook so he got to have a son, whose name is Poof! Wizard: As a fairy, Cosmo is capable of shapeshifting into virtually anything that he wants, though chances are that he will still be green regardless of whatever he shape shifts into. Boomstick: He probably has a hard time disguising himself because of that! Wizard: He probably does. He also happens to be immortal. Technically, he does age, but at a slower rate than humans. He's also fast enough to travel from planet to planet, as shown when he traveled from Earth to Yugopotamia, its polar opposite. Boomstick: However, if he loses his wand, he'll be a lot weaker! Wizard: He can also be trapped using a butterfly net. Boomstick: And speaking of traps, he's addicted to rump roast like all the other fairies. He's also restricted to what his godchild can wish for according to Da Rules! Wizard: I think we've said enough about Cosmo. It's time for a Death Battle! Fight Bart Simpson was lying in bed. He got the feeling that something big was going to happen to him today. As it turned out, something big was going to happen today. At that very moment, Cosmo showed up. "Hey there! I'm your fairy godparent! You ready to make some wishes?" questioned Cosmo. "Cool! I wish that Springfield Elementary would blow up!" exclaimed Bart. As soon as Bart said that, Cosmo's wand dropped. That was a violation of Da Rules. "Sorry, I can't do that." apologized Cosmo. He had caused enough destruction already. "Aww..." said Bart. Suddenly, at that very moment, Homer Simpson burst in. As soon as Homer Simpson saw Cosmo, he screamed. "Hi?" greeted Cosmo. "Aah!!! Some sort of space alien has invaded my home! I'll smash your extraterrestrial face in!" exclaimed Homer. "What?!" shouted the fairy. FIGHT! "Easy there, I don't want any trouble!" exclaimed Cosmo. Homer pulled out a baseball bat. He proceeded to swing it at Cosmo. The green fairy quickly ducked underneath the baseball bat. It was a good thing that he was so fast. Homer continued to chase Cosmo around the house, hoping to whack Cosmo with his baseball bat. "I'll teach you to try to probe me!" exclaimed Homer. In the process, Homer ended up destroying much of his house. Cosmo wondered if he should try fighting back at this point. He decided to blast Homer with a magic blast from his wand. "Ow!" shouted Homer, falling down on his feet. However, Homer still got back up. "You won't beat me that easily!" exclaimed the Power Plant employee. "He's really resilient..." noted Cosmo. How was he going to defeat him? He decided to give someone a phone call. "Can you help me? I'm in danger here!" exclaimed the fairy. "Why should I help you, Cosmo? You destroyed Atlantis no less than nine different times!" bellowed Jorgen Von Strangle. "But he wants to strangle me!" screamed Cosmo. "Why you little..." said Homer, strangling Cosmo. "I'll teach you to come from outer space and try to dissect my son!" "Fine. But you owe me big time for this." answered Jorgen Von Strangle. "Thank...you..." said the green fairy. Fortunately for Cosmo, he was able to transform into a bar of soap which allowed him to slip out of Homer's fingers. Homer Simpson then ended up slipping over him and falling on his face. "Oof!" exclaimed Homer Simpson. Suddenly, Cosmo noticed that there was rump roast in the kitchen. He wanted it. He flew towards the rump roast and began to munch on it. "Mmm, this is so delicious!" exclaimed Cosmo. Little did Cosmo know that at that very moment, Homer was approaching him with a butterfly net. "Gotcha!" shouted Homer, trapping Cosmo in the net. "Let me out of here!" exclaimed Cosmo. "I'm going to shove you in the blender!" bellowed Homer. Cosmo gulped. However, at that very moment, Jorgen Von Strangle appeared. For some strange reason, whenever he showed up, it seemed like there was an atomic explosion. "You're trying to kill a fairy? I guess I'll have to kill you then..." remarked Jorgen Von Strangle. Homer Simpson screamed. Jorgen Von Strangle aimed his wand at Homer Simpson. Homer Simpson was blown up. "Thank you for helping, Jorgen!" exclaimed Cosmo. "That's another thing that you're going to have to pay me for..." remarked Jorgen Von Strangle. "How long will it take me to pay you back?" asked the green fairy. "About ten million years!" shouted Jorgen. Cosmo groaned. Results As Homer Simpson's grave was added to the Springfield Cemetery, Cosmo decided that maybe he'll be someone else's godparent. Maybe some boy named Timmy Turner? Boomstick: Poor Homer Simpson...now what am I going to watch on TV? Wizard: You can still watch the Fairly Oddparents. Unfortunately for Homer, he didn't lose simply because Cosmo decided to summon Jorgen Von Strangle...there were a variety of reasons that tipped the fight in his favor. Boomstick: Cosmo has done astonishing things, though unintentionally. After all, he's destroyed entire cities and he once blew up Fairyworld! Wizard: That is not something that Homer Simpson could ever do on his own...except for when he's working at the power plant, of course. Boomstick: Of course, both of them were about as intelligent...by which I mean they weren't intelligent at all. Wizard: Cosmo's shapeshifting also gave him an advantage over Homer Simpson, he could shape shift into a variety of different forms to give him an advantage. Boomstick: Of course, Homer Simpson probably wouldn't think of using a butterfly net like he did in the actual fight...he wouldn't know any of Cosmo's weaknesses! Wizard: And there's no way that Homer Simpson would be able to keep up with Cosmo's speed. He can travel from planet to planet with ease. Boomstick: Of course, according to Da Rules, he would probably be prohibited from killing Homer Simpson...but this is a Death Battle. There are no rules about killing others here! Wizard: Yes...that's very true. They were in fact about as durable, believe it or not. Boomstick: Fairies are even capable of bending the space-time continuum itself. And Cosmo is in fact one of the stronger fairies considering what he managed to accomplish when he was younger. Wizard: And since Homer isn't an strategist, he probably wouldn't think of taking Cosmo's wand away from him. Boomstick: Homer made a fairy bad choice to pick a fight with! Wizard: That was a lame pun. Anyways, the winner is Cosmo. Category:"Idiot" themed Death Battles Category:'TV Shows' themed Death Battles Category:What-If? Death Battles Category:Completed What-If? Death Battles Category:Joshua foote14 Category:"Male vs Male" Themed Death Battles